Hen & Stag
The Match MAID In Heaven.
You`re there when you hear the delicately spoken words `I said: Yes!` From that moment on, as one of the bride-to-be`s nearest and dearest, your role as a bridesmaid becomes a central part of an already busy life, but one that you wouldn`t part with for all the world.
So what does it take to make a great bridesmaid, what are the secrets to this match made in heaven? South East Wedding magazine has been finding out
Firstly, among the best pieces of advice we can give you is to be the voice of calm reassurance and support in the background. As a bridesmaid, it`s your job to be there to support the bride-to-be when it comes to the best option available, be it flowers and bouquets, the ceremony music, the Honeymoon or the going-away outfit. Whatever it is, and no matter how stressed your beloved sister or friend is, do your best to keep them calm and happy, and above all to help ensure she enjoys the experience.
When the dust of the joyous engagement has settled and the wedding date has been set, it`s time to get organised! You know the bride-to-be better than most, so what type of personality is she?
Option 1: cool-headed, keeps it simple, rarely gets stressed.
Option 2: a bit of a stressed kitten, but loveable all the same.
Option 3: total perfectionist (‡ la Monica) who will seek out snipers to put an end to anyone who stands in the way of the wedding fairytale.
The best place to start is to get an idea from the bride-to-be as to what role she would like you to take. Here, you may be surprised. Many Irish women still prefer to organise everything themselves. In this case, the bride-to-be will assign certain tasks to her bridesmaid or bridesmaids. These can include the painstaking stapling and finger cutting of mass booklets, care of the wedding rings, organising the Hen night and going through the `L-plates` debate with friends and family, or even organising pre-wedding rehearsal dinner and entertainment. Whatever your role is, make sure it`s what the bride-to-be wants and be her guiding light and support. Encourage, mind and look after. Let those be your three little words (less dramatic than `I said yes`, we know).
When it comes to shopping for the most sacred of outfits - the wedding gown ` here is the time when you do need to be wholeheartedly honest. `Does my bum look big in this?` needs to be answered honestly. Anything else that does not flatter needs to be honestly, but gently, offered. This is someone you love - do you want her to curse you when they see their photographs?!!
Perhaps one of the key phases of planning is the organisation of the Hen Night. Here, where beautiful feathery hens come together with glitter, L-plates and never-before-tasted cocktails combine for an evening that few will forget. Whether it`s a Spa weekend at one of the region`s many wonderful Spa locations, a lively night out in Amsterdam or drinks and dinner in your favourite restaurant, the bridesmaid needs to be at her most charming and disarming.
As with all aspects of the wedding, the bridesmaid has to know what sort of Hen event the bride-to-be and her favourite chicks have in mind. Make a list of invitees to the Hen night or weekend, as is the norm these days. Make the list and check it twice and do find out who`s been naughty or nice so that only friends and family surround the bride-to-be. Written invitations are the way to go really as it keeps everyone focused on the date, etc. Reminders by text are popular as they keep up with the hectic pace of life. If you have to book bedroom accommodation, find out who wants to share with whom - it`s better to get it right early on to avoid feathers getting plucked during the big weekend or night away. Remember to book accommodation well in advance as Ireland`s favourite cities get booked up at weekends, and fast.
If the party are travelling together by bus, etc then picking a time for dinner, etc is easy. If everyone is coming from various places at various times, add one hour to the average journey time and choose that time for everyone to meet. A quick drink at your hotel is a good place to start to organise everyone for the night and make sure everyone is present and correct! L-plates - check, scary blow-up doll - check!
When it comes to dinner, choosing the right restaurant is crucial. If you are eight very close sisters and friends, then a fabulous upscale restaurant is ideal. If you are a group of 20 and everyone wants a good old laugh and some fun, go for somewhere that fits the bill. Casual brasseries and pizzerias are great for atmosphere, good cocktail lists and lots of Italian wine. As bridesmaid and organiser, you want everyone to enjoy themselves and the bride-to-be completely stress-free. All in all, try to create a happy event - you`re not Victoria Beckham and you don`t have millions, just do your best and the results will come.
Once the Hen Night is out of the way, the closing stages of planning fall onto your list of Things To Do. If you have the South East Wedding planning checklist to hand, then sit down over a latte together and go through what`s left to do.
Always be reassuring and calm - even when no one else is. If there`s a last minute crisis, it can be fixed. This couple have found each other in a huge big world, so anything else is solvable, even dresses that suddenly don`t fit; there`s always a solution.
When it comes down to the last few weeks and days, take the bride-to-be out for lunch or an afternoon at the Spa to hurry any stresses away and make her feel relaxed. This is also a good time to run through the last minute tasks (collecting wedding dress, flowers, checking on the wedding rings, etc.).
On the day itself, the bridesmaid should be on hand to help the bride early in the morning, having made sure she went to bed reasonably early. Call the hair and/or makeup salon to let them know you`re all on the way.
Help the bride with her wedding gown, making sure that makeup and hair clips, etc are not likely to be tangled or blemished in any way. Double check that the bridal bouquets are ok and ready to go, talk to the car chauffeur when she or he arrives and discuss final arrangements, etc. Keep mother and other family members calm and relaxed - let there be no stress on this of all days! Get a glass of Champagne for the bride and the wedding party and toast this happiest of days. On arrival to the wedding ceremony, check the bride`s veil or headdress/tiara, etc, the bottom tiers of her dress for evenness and balance and the bouquet for any straggling leaves or petals. Give her a kiss for luck and get yourself up that aisle to mark her majestic arrival. Don`t forget to safeguard the bride`s bouquet during the ceremony and at crucial times during the wedding reception.
The bridesmaid must be on hand to sign the wedding register, help organise photographs with the photographer and generally be all-hands-on-deck. During the photographs, particularly if any steps or staircases involved, remember to check the bride`s gown for evenness and straighten out any wayward ends or trains for that perfect look. Once dinner has been served and the formalities have concluded, relax and enjoy and savour your beloved sister or friend`s happiness. Toast this happy couple in your own way.
